Don't Go There

Often times we approach God with the desires of our heart. When God tells us no we plead with him and ask him to reconsider his answer. About this time is when we should be questioning our own insanity, but sadly we often do not. God finally begins a conversation with us and says something like, "Well, you could do that, but..." Suddenly we get up off our knees mid sentence thanking God for his time. We turn to our friends all excited like and say, "God told me I should."

At this point anyone who knows God begins to see what has happened, but it is hard to reason with someone who has picked their poison. At this point we become afraid to go back to God because we know darn well we are going to get the other end of that "but." So, every time God tries to get our attention we do the, "la, la, la, la, I can't hear you, but thanks for letting me..." 

So we go ahead and do what we want. Now come the consequences and we go squealing back to God saying, "I don't understand! You told me I could. Now you are punishing me??? I don't know if I want to believe in you any more." At this point God is shaking his head saying, "What good does it do to believe in me if you don't hear  me anyways?" 

It is okay not to want to hear the right answer from God so long as you are willing to hear the right answer from God. Realize that God knows more than you do and he wants your happiness, in some case, more than you do. He has given us guidance and proven principles to live by. Don't think that you are the exception to the rule try to see why you are the rule. You will find your life much happier for it.

Reporting in Week 10

This week started off a little slow. Last week with my knees not feeling good I was looking forward to returning to my exercise programs. However, on Monday evening I decided to bench press my sons and my daughters friend. That did not go to well. My shoulders are definitely a weak spot for me so, even though my chest could press it my shoulders didn't like it. So, in order to keep up my moving more. I decided to start jogging. I started Wednesday and decided that I would just try to jog as far as I could without stopping. I wasn't sure how far it was around our block, but I figured it was at least .3 miles. I made it all the way around once and walked the second. My lungs were on fire. On Thursday I decided to do the same, but I made it another 100 yards or so before walking and returned to jogging after about another 50 yards and made it the rest of the way home. Friday, I made it twice around without stopping and only a 75 yard walk before finishing on a jog. Total distance ended up being 1.6 miles in 18 minutes. Saturday I stepped it up to just over 2 miles jogging the whole way. At home I started the Biggest Loser Yoga dvd and was able to get through the stretches only before I had to get ready for weigh ins.

End of Week 10 Still going down.

I feel really good about my Eating Less. Nothing really out of the ordinary happened this week. Just more of the same except I did eat more salads and made sure that I ate more salad on Thursday and Friday. Thursdays seem to be my peek day for weigh ins. I think I weigh-in in the morning sometimes 2-3 lbs lighter on Thursdays. Fridays I then get the munchies. So, I think I will have to figure out how to read my body's needs better for Friday. I really thought after weighing in this morning on my home scale that I might have gained weight this week but once again. I lost. In fact it was one of my biggest losses in the last month. Feeling good!

Do Not Underestimate The Need For Sleep

This week I have been trying to figure out my mental trigger for finding a healthier sleeping pattern. I have for most of my life fought going to bed at a descent time. Some might say that 11:00pm-12:00am is not bad, but I have always known that it is not healthy on the norm to go to bed that late and wake up at 6:00am or 7:00am in the morning. I never have felt very rested and have probably suffered some with my health due to my sleeping habits.

Anyways I started thinking about the triggers I have found to help me with my eating habits and my exercising. I talked to my wife about sleep and it started me thinking about the benefits of sleep in the weight loss process.

I am a firm believer that you must ask the right questions to get the right answers. So, that lead me to the thought that in the overnight I can sometimes lose 6 or 7 lbs just in sleeping. I am not sure how that works I am not a scientist, but as a thinker it lead me to the question why? And that question lead me to the thought that weight is a stress on the body, and stress has a correlation with weight gain. When we allow our body to recover from the stresses of life through sleep we allow our body to work more efficiently. When we cut our sleep short we cause our body to go into distress and one of the ways our body deals with distress is holding onto fat. That is not the only problem that too little sleep can cause, but for this discussion it is very relevant. Without sleep our body does not have the opportunity to reset.

When we sleep it signals our bodies night crew to come in and fix what the day crew messed up.
As I look back maybe it is the fear of the dark that I suffered as a child that got me into a bad habit of staying up late. Maybe it was just wanting to know what was going on around me. I don't know, but what I do know is I am going to do my best to go to sleep at 10:00 every night and test the thoughts that have come to me. Which means it is time for me to go to bed now.

  

Humility The Key To Knowledge

Humility is the key to knowledge. While there are absolute truths that do exist we can spend a life time learning all there is to know about them. When we declare within ourselves that we are all knowing we elevate ourselves to a position we have not earned. Until God himself declares the end of knowledge, we should not. That we can not comprehend past our own knowledge does not make it the end of all knowledge.
Humility deepens our understanding and prepares us to learn what God knows.

Reporting in Week 9

This week has been interesting. After last week my knees were feeling quite sore. So, this week I tried to avoid the heavy exercises, well, at least the cardio. I did do Tia Chi on Monday and Tuesday. Friday, I did a 10 minute workout is all. I actually have missed the workouts and am looking forward to returning to regular exercises next week. I am thinking that I need to change things up more often. I going to add more types of movements to my menu of exercises. I am looking forward to the warmer weather so that I can start walking more.
I have been worried that by taking the time off I might not lose weight, but I felt that I needed to give my body that time to heal so that I can make another big push over the next three weeks. Moving more has meant doing a lot more stretches and playing on the exercise ball. Saturday I will play basketball for my workout.
I decided that I might be drinking just a little too much water as well. I had gotten up to 4 to 4 1/2 x 59floz of water. I decided to cut that back to about 3 x 59floz. I was spending too much time running to the restroom, but I think I might have been retaining some of that water. Not a lot but some. So, I am trying to listen more to my bodies request for more or less.

Week 9 still dropping
Eat Less Move More
Becoming Physically what I already am Mentally

I feel like my body is locked into the mental image that I see myself becoming. It will do whatever it takes to get me where I have told it to go.

Japan An Example Of Moral Dignity

I do not think that we can see what has happened in Japan and not feel a sense of shock and trauma ourselves. I personally can not fathom just what has happened to them physically yet alone emotionally. However the more I see how they are reacting to the situation the more I realize that these people are special. They are showing the world an example of godliness.
Here in America, and elsewhere through out the world we have heard about the looting and chaos that ensues after a disaster. We have stories of compassion and heroisms as well. However, in Japan we hear only stories of compassion and unselfishness, of moral dignity. The lack of riots, and the lack of hostility one towards another should be more news worthy than the nuclear troubles they are having, not trying to minimize the dangers they face, but to magnify the godlike qualities of man
I believe it is this moral dignity that will be required if America is to restore itself to true greatness. May each of us resolve to remain morally dignified in the face of disaster. God bless the Japanese people.

Reporting in Week 8

This week felt good. I was not about to allow myself not to reach my goal of 269 lbs, but Monday through Thursday each morning it seemed that my scale would not budge for 3 weeks it seemed to want to hover over the same numbers and on Saturday morning my workouts would be squeak me a couple of lbs for weigh ins, but I felt like I was standing still. So this week I had to make a new resolve to do what ever it took to hit my next goal. So, I realized that I can't eat much less. So, I figured that I would have to step it up on the Move More side of my plan. I must have reached a maintenance level, which is good to know. I don't want to do more than I think I can do after the competition, but I am realizing that I can do a little more than I thought I could.

Normally I have made Friday and Saturday my big push days. Because of the trouble I have been having making the scale move I decided that I would do something Thursday night. Actually I didn't decide so much as I just started jogging in place while watching Man vs Wild. I was just going to try and break a sweat, but then I just kept going. In my mind I heard that it takes about 20 minutes before we start burning fat, so I just kept jogging in place. I mixed it up with a side step or two some high knees, etc., nothing real strenuous, but enough to keep me sweating. I ended up jogging in place for between 45 minutes to an hour. On Friday morning I put on my sauna suit and put in the Biggest Loser Cardio Max dvd and pushed myself. I am not sure how it will go this weigh in, but I am beginning to enjoy Moving More.
Eating Less has not changed a lot, although I am thinking that I need more salads. I have not eaten a lot of heavy food, but salads sound good to me right now.
This week the Girl Scout cookies came in and although the temptation has been great I really want to set my new goal at 260 lbs, so I have only eaten one with a cup of milk. I will reward myself after I reach my next goal.
I love my wheat thins and cottage cheese and sour cream with Ranch powder mix. One of the flavors I crave is the sour tang, and Ranch powder seems to provide that for me. I also tried something new on Wednesday. I cut up and apple with butter and added Cinnamon I fried it until it looked like the apples where starting to get just a little crispy on the outside then I added a drizzling of honey...That was tasty. Someday I will put a little ice cream on top, but for now it is good all by itself.
Another thing that I have started to do is mix 1 tsp of cinnamon and 2 Tbls of honey in 8oz of hot tap water and drinking it in the morning and evening. I have added a little bit of tobasco sauce in as well a couple of times. I added this to my routine as the result of an email and a little searching on my own. Some studies have shown that honey and cinnamon are good for a lot of things weight loss included. So, I thought I would try it. It makes sense to me that it might as when I drink it brings me closer to perspiring and makes it easier to perspire when I take it  before my work out. So, for now I will stick with it.

Not rocket speed, but still dropping.

Emotional Weight Loss

I find myself reviewing my Mind Body Connection class often these days. This past weekend I had an emotional melt down. It was like the perfect storm of doom and gloom that crashed in on me and I did not handle it well. Without divulging the details of my tantrum. I will just say that I felt completely overwhelmed with unwanted emotions.
I remember in my class that we talked about how our body will store memories and emotions within the cells of our body. Our teacher talked about how many times, when message therapy was performed it would cause people to have emotional reactions that seemed completely random.
I knew that there was a good possibility this breakdown was simply part of losing weight. However, it was so overwhelming that I could not control myself. I knelt down and prayed, and it seemed the harder I tried to pray the more angry I got. I pleaded for relief of these feelings.
I tried to go to a party that we had planned, but while there, an incident occurred that threw me into an almost outright panic attack. I ended up walking home. I prayed some more, but I could not shake the emotions. My daughter had an awards ceremony that we were suppose to be to so I decided I would try again, but while there I nearly lost it again. Finally after the ceremony I pulled aside two members of my bishopric and I asked them for a priesthood blessing. During the blessing I felt the release of those negative emotions. Peace finally came to me.
It was one of  these men who then reminded me that this could well be related to my weight loss as he had experienced these same emotions while losing weight himself. I assured him I was aware of that, and that even though I was aware of it I could not stop them from coming and for some reason I could not get rid of them through reasoning.
It was because of this mans experience along with my own that I thought I might share this so that if there are those who struggle with emotions while losing weight they might understand that in the raw emotions are chemicals and when you emotionally eat there is a good chance that those chemicals will get trapped in your fat cells. When you exercise there is a good chance that you may release those emotions. Hopefully your experience won't be nearly as bad as I felt mine was, but being aware of it may help you push through the hard things and keep on track.
Let those poisons sweat out of you. Remember Eat Less, Move More. You will become physically what you already are mentally if you just don't stop.

Reporting in Week 7

End of Week 6

Well, we are now over half way through this contest and this week has been kind of blah for me. I wrote in my earlier entry about my mental clicks, so in my report I thought I would share with you what I have done to eat less. I must give my disclaimer before I start. I am not an expert. But then again what is an expert but a has-been-little-more-than-a-drip. I have found that what works for one person may not work for another. What is healthy for one person may not be healthy for another. Each of us must learn to read our own body and understand it. Though I do believe that the basic principles of my plan are not dangerous unless taken to an extreme. So, what do I mean when I say eat less and move more? Well, first when I eat out I immediately ask for a togo container and before I take one bite I put half of it away. Second, at home we eat off of mostly the square tupperware plates or use the normal cereal bowls. I now use the smaller bowl where I can. When I use the plate I now have the discipline not to eat more than firsts and a couple of sneaks off of Matthew or Spencer's plates.(mostly for the reaction ;~) ) It is much easier now that my stomach has shrunk.
We have increased our vegetable intake, not that we are eating things we didn't use to, but our desire for more vegetables has increased. I would eat more fruit, but my family is a little slow to catch on to the fruit thing and I usually like my fruit with things that kinda negate their value as a source of positive nutrients. Oh well, I am sure that I will be inspired to eat more fruit sooner or later.
As for dessert, well I have no intention on giving that up, but instead of having a cereal bowl full of ice cream or even the smaller bowl. I settle for a snack cup. Dessert is where I feel creative. I have discovered a new favorite dessert. Here is my recipe for my cookie dough tongue teaser:

1 small cookie dough ball (peanut butter is my favorite)

about 3 to 5 Tbs. of Vanilla ice cream

place the small dough ball in the bottom of a tupperware snack cup then put it in the microwave for 30 seconds. Place the ice cream on top and drizzle with caramel. 

The trick is learning that when you eat a little it costs less and when you eat it slow you let the flavors wrap around your tongue and allow the memory of the flavor linger longer. It is much more satisfying than the "bite swallow, tastes good, but its gone method." 

I have noticed an increase in my desire for hot foods as well. Spicy is good until later that is... but we wont go there. Last week I happened to look up on the internet foods that increase your metabolism, it was interesting to see how many of those foods were foods that I have been drawn to. 

End of Week 7 still falling

Exercise this week has been up and down. Tai Chi on Monday and Wednesday due to sleeping in, Biggest Loser 10 minute workouts for 30min.on Tuesday, Thursday, and abbreviated to 20min. on Friday. This was not one of my stellar weeks, although when I did sweat I did sweat big time. So we shall see how it goes. Tomorrow I am going to have to have a good workout or the scale might not budge. It seems like It is stuck on my scale at home this week. I suppose it is bound to happen a couple more times on my journey.

Becoming Physically What I already am Mentally

This biggest loser contest has really helped me to realize that I am capable of doing things that I do not like to do. Not only that but doing what I don't like to do is not half as bad as I thought it would be...once I am done doing it. Another thing that I have come to realize is that we can not change physically until we change mentally. The mental changes we make are often very slight, but they make a huge difference.
When I started this contest 6 weeks ago I was 300 lbs. That is as heavy as I have ever been. I committed myself to the competition before I was mentally ready and I was scared that I would give up before I even started. I knew that I would have to change inside before I could change outside, because I was not willing to do much in the way of exercise and diet. Food has been a way of life and I was not that motivated to change that aspect of my life.
I came from a large family and when it came to food we ate what we could when we could. We ate well, probably too well. Sometimes I think eating was more of a competition than it was a matter of survival. But somewhere mentally we flipped a switch that told us that we were starving and we might not get another meal. I think that happens to a lot of us as teenagers, we just forget to turn that switch off when we grew up.
I grew to like having that full tummy feeling. It was like I had accomplished something great by eating so much.  And when I liked something... well, it was probably going to be the last time I got to eat it so I would have to eat as much of it as I could. Just another one of those mental switches that got thrown and I forgot to turn it off once I realized it was back on the menu.
I have heard of other switches that others have and each one of them seems to me to be very logical. Fear is a huge switch. When we are afraid we often seek comfort. One way we seek comfort is orally. As a baby every time we cried we were given a binky, a bottle, a breast, or we found our thumb to pacify us. As we got older we turned to food. The problem was, we ate many things not because our body needed them so much as we were seeking comfort. It became emotional for us. We couldn't explain why we felt the way we did so we put something in our mouth and it tasted good so that took our mind off of the problem temporarily. Just like some people turn to drugs and alcohol. After a while we conditioned ourselves when we felt bad to eat something. This becomes an addiction. Another switch that has to be flipped.
I myself had another hurdle that I had to cross. I could not see myself doing exercise routines. I had nightmares of that Simmons guy in little tight shorts dancing in my head. Exercise routines were for other people not my type, Good grief I had some dignity. :o  So, another mental switch had to be flipped.
Each of us have different switches, but the principle is the same once we figure out why we allowed ourselves to get where we are, then we can reach into our own mind and flip that switch. That is if we are willing to flip that switch. Some of us have been holding on to some of these switches for a long time and we don't want to give them up. That is a decision each of us has to make on our own.
You see those switches happen on the Biggest Loser television show every week. Losing  weight for those who are morbidly obese is a physical/emotional process. I promise you will have tears of frustration, of anger, of hopelessness, and tears of joy if you push yourself past the frustration. The great thing about watching the show is that patterns are set that you can visibly see. You have good weeks and bad weeks. You have times when you want to win and times you have to decide not to lose. It is mental and emotional.

For me the switch came right before the contest. I realized that I did not need to eat as much as I was used to. I realized that I was eating for the wrong reasons. I was eating to get full, instead of eating to nourish my body. I ate a lot of stuff just because it was in front of me, it looked good, it tasted good, and I thought I had to eat it. When I mentally told myself that I didn't need to eat it, right now, it became a take it or leave it game.  My wife is a good cook. I know that if something was good, if I don't get another bite of my dinner, she will make it again and I don't have to eat it all right now. Eating slower was another cool revelation in discovery. I love dessert and by eating slow I found that I could make a little flavor go along way, and realizing that by eating just a little the ice cream will last me a lot longer. ;) I have now gotten to the point where I do not want to even come close to feeling stuffed. I will save a portion of my meal for a later snack or for another meal rather than stuff myself.

So, why do you eat what you eat? Do you look at your food and ask is this enough to satisfy me? or do you ask yourself if you need this much? Simple questions sometimes help us find out where our switches are.

The way we see ourselves is important. If we see ourselves as overweight that is where we will stay. Our body wants to stay where we think we are. If we think we are slim our body will try to match our image. We either have to change what we think of ourselves or we will remain the same.