When our hopes and dreams of a happily ever after are shattered by the nightmarish aspects of reality, where do we turn for help? When sickness enters our marriage, whether physical, emotional, spiritual, or financial, where do we look for healing? If divorce is necessary, are we looking for divorce to save us?
While divorce is necessary at times, if we look for it to be our savior, we may find that it is anything but our savior. Divorce may break our legal bond. However, if we have children, it does not release us from our common responsibility of parenting. And we will still have to work together in raising those children. Divorce only complicates that responsibility.
Divorce is a great gamble, sometimes it is necessary to protect our children or ourselves from physical or mental harm. However we must measure the consequences of staying verses the consequences of leaving. Often we want to ignore the consequences that we may face on the other side of divorce. Sometimes we may benefit from the divorce, but it may be at the expense of our children. It is hard to measure the damage our children experience when we seek divorce for our own peace.
Is divorce our savior? No. Can it bring healing? No. Divorce has no power to heal. Divorce has no power to alleviate our pain. There is only one source of healing and that is through the Atonement of Jesus Christ. It is only through him that we can begin our healing process. Often times we look at the source of our pain as being our spouse, and by getting rid of them we can get rid of our pain. However the actual pain is within us, and when they are gone we can no longer blame them, but we still have the pain. And the danger is in thinking, they are the only one who needs to repent and call on the atonement to change.
There are certain phrases that may expose the reality of who we have chosen as our savior. Phrases such as; "I just need to get away from them so I can heal" or "I just need to get divorced so I can move on with my life," then we may need to ask ourself who our savior is? The legal action of divorce is not that difficult, it is a signature on a paper and a declaration of divorcement. The consequences however, are not so simple.
To choose Christ as the Savior of our marriage is not easy, it requires more than physical work. It requires our faith, our forgiveness, our patience, our willingness to try one more time than we may think we can. It will require all we have to submit to the will of God. But in the end we will become a better, happier person whether our marriage works or not. And if our marriage does not work we can honestly say we have done everything possible. And that will help in the healing process.
If divorce is needed to save ourselves or our children from harm then we must do what we have to do. But, if we need healing, we can not turn to divorce. We must turn to God and through the Atonement of Christ we will find the strength to be healed.
When is it okay to get divorced? I can't say. But I can say this, I truly believe God would like to heal your marriage before he accepts your divorce.
While divorce is necessary at times, if we look for it to be our savior, we may find that it is anything but our savior. Divorce may break our legal bond. However, if we have children, it does not release us from our common responsibility of parenting. And we will still have to work together in raising those children. Divorce only complicates that responsibility.
Divorce is a great gamble, sometimes it is necessary to protect our children or ourselves from physical or mental harm. However we must measure the consequences of staying verses the consequences of leaving. Often we want to ignore the consequences that we may face on the other side of divorce. Sometimes we may benefit from the divorce, but it may be at the expense of our children. It is hard to measure the damage our children experience when we seek divorce for our own peace.
Is divorce our savior? No. Can it bring healing? No. Divorce has no power to heal. Divorce has no power to alleviate our pain. There is only one source of healing and that is through the Atonement of Jesus Christ. It is only through him that we can begin our healing process. Often times we look at the source of our pain as being our spouse, and by getting rid of them we can get rid of our pain. However the actual pain is within us, and when they are gone we can no longer blame them, but we still have the pain. And the danger is in thinking, they are the only one who needs to repent and call on the atonement to change.
There are certain phrases that may expose the reality of who we have chosen as our savior. Phrases such as; "I just need to get away from them so I can heal" or "I just need to get divorced so I can move on with my life," then we may need to ask ourself who our savior is? The legal action of divorce is not that difficult, it is a signature on a paper and a declaration of divorcement. The consequences however, are not so simple.
To choose Christ as the Savior of our marriage is not easy, it requires more than physical work. It requires our faith, our forgiveness, our patience, our willingness to try one more time than we may think we can. It will require all we have to submit to the will of God. But in the end we will become a better, happier person whether our marriage works or not. And if our marriage does not work we can honestly say we have done everything possible. And that will help in the healing process.
If divorce is needed to save ourselves or our children from harm then we must do what we have to do. But, if we need healing, we can not turn to divorce. We must turn to God and through the Atonement of Christ we will find the strength to be healed.
When is it okay to get divorced? I can't say. But I can say this, I truly believe God would like to heal your marriage before he accepts your divorce.
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