Feeling Guilt For Feeling Whole

Years ago I worked at International Luggage Center in Salt Lake City, Utah. One day I learned a powerful lesson when a man walked through our doors... He had no arms. He asked to see the garment bags. So I took him around the corner to where the garment bags were displayed. He asked if I minded him checking it out. As it was up on the wall, he asked me if I would take it down for him. I took it down and told him to go for it. He maneuvered the garment bag down to the ground and began to work the zippers.
I remember feeling somewhat awkward. I wanted so badly to help him open zippers and such, but something inside my head whispered, "Let him do it, he will have to do it on his own if he owns it."  So, I sat back and watched, waiting for him to ask for help...He never did. I can't even remember exactly how he was able to do all that he did, but I remember he did. When he was finished, he got up off the ground and with a slight quiver in his voice, he looked me in the eye and thanked me. He then proceeded to buy the garment bag.

I wasn't sure what to think of the incident. However, the look on his face told me that he appreciated that I did not judge him as incapable despite his obvious handicap. Unfortunately I am not sure that was a common feeling to him.

The lesson I learned was that I should not judge people for what I think they are incapable of. My own feelings were that I was superior because I was not handicapped. However, I have since realized that this man was far more superior, because he could do things without the advantages I had.

Sometimes we want to help others, and we think we are doing them a favor when in reality we are handicapping them. Sometimes we think we are superior, when we are not. Sometimes we carry within us some guilt for being whole, while we think that others are not, because of their gender, race, religion, mental capacity, or whatever makes them different from us. Sometimes this guilt is manifest in our being repulsed in our ignorance resulting in a prejudice and or discrimination. Other times it results in our being repulsed by our ignorance resulting in reverse discrimination. It isn't until we reconcile our guilt that we are able to treat all men equally.

Some learn to reconcile quickly, others take time, but either way it takes overcoming ignorance, either inwardly or outwardly. Each of us learns differently, but we all have to gain experience the same way... By doing something. Fear can either lead you to the darkness, or motivate you to find the light.