Think Radical, Act Moderate, And Educate Along The Way

Think radically, act moderately, and don't worry about who gets credit, then educate, and soon the ship will be turned around. You may choose to act like an iceberg and not moderate, but then you would be no better than the crew who thought the ship was unsinkable.

It is funny, I thought that this principle was a principle for politics, but the other day I got so angry with one of my boys because he throws a fit every time we ask him to do anything that takes him away from his Legos. In my anger I spanked him, and told him to pick up his Legos, and that he was grounded from them for 30 days so that he could learn to enjoy work. 

I was so mad I had to leave to get out of the situation. I felt terrible. I was upset all day. My son had forgiven me, but he was curious as to whether I was serious about the 30 days. I felt there is no way I can back down, but I also felt that I didn't want to follow through with the 30 days. I had a radical thought that I wanted to force him to learn about the importance of working with a good attitude. Now, I was stuck with the consequences myself. 

Through the day I was trying to come up with an idea that would satisfy the 30 days and yet would give them the incentive to change their behavior before they got discouraged and thinking they could never make it. Then the phrase "time off for good behavior" came to mind.  Then I thought to myself, a day without complaints about work was worth more to me than a normal day. So, I decided to make them earn 30 days but they could earn up to 2 days for a really good day. This allowed me to moderate my initial action and give them incentive to be better than just okay without compromising the end goal. 

So we set forth the rules as such:

1) if you get more than 2 warnings you lose a day.

2) if you get 2 or less warnings then you can mark 1 day

3) if you get no warnings and have a great attitude the whole day you can mark 2 days off the chart.

Now, that we have got them into the routine and they are making an effort we, as parents, can sit back and encourage, and educate them, help them to see what they can change so they don't have to lose a day. 

So far it seems to be working better than I thought. We are early on in this experiment, but I can already tell a difference in this approach over other approaches. I believe that it gives them more incentive to change than to stay the same. I can also tell that it is going to take a little more mental effort for one of my boys than it will be for the other. However, I still see a difference in his attitude as well. 

It wasn't until I had set up the rules and had my boy print out his chart that I realized that this program followed the principle of think radical, act moderate, and educate along the way. I am really excited to see the results at the end of this experiment.