It is a well known fact that financial woes are the number one reason for divorce. First we have to recognize that financial problems have little to do with money, but we focus on money because money is easy to blame. We think we don't have enough or we think that our spouse just spends too much. More often than not our financial woes are simply a matter of ignorance, pride, and seeking comfort where you can not find it.
One of the reasons that we struggle is because we do not know how to communicate our emotions when it comes to finances and finances are all about controlling emotions. A man wants to be everything to his wife. He wants to feel confident and competent when it comes to running the affairs of his family. He wants to provide the necessities as well as the wants of his family. He does not want to know that he is falling short of his own high expectations. In the case of finances pride and ignorance seem to go hand in hand. Women on the other hand have the desire to feel secure and protected from their dragons. They place a high expectation on their man, because every woman knows that she married superman. She wants to believe that her every wish is at his command. Emotional spending might be blamed on both the man and the woman for these reasons.
Most of us grew up being taught how to tie our shoes, how to recognize the alphabet, and how to do math, but we do not learn about finances. Finances were done in the "office." Out of sight of the little people. All we know is mom and dad had money or they didn't have money. We never saw the games they played or the negotiations that they made in order to keep their household running. We have grown up for the most part without really learning the principles that govern money...especially budgeting.
Budgeting is where reality hits. As I said men do not want to know that they are failing and women do not want to feel unsecure. When we budget we have to face the facts. We have to step out of the fairy tale where money grows on trees and as long as we have checks we must still have money.
This is where a man and woman have the opportunity to grow closer together than any other way. When a husband and wife sit down together the woman encouraging her man, showing complete faith in him, beautiful things can happen. When a man sits down with his wife and they can create a workable plan, he will experience a hope like no other.
Once you can resolve to dealing with the real emotional issues involved with finances then you are ready to find the tools you need to make it as easy as possible. There are many ideas and many methods that have worked for others, but when it comes to comprehensive budgeting and planning tools I don't know of anyone with a better plan than Dave Ramsey. I highly recommend finding him on your radio or at least visiting his website and buying a couple of books. The principles he teaches are those we have been taught in the gospel all our lives, but we did not understand how to do it. http://www.daveramsey.com/
My own experience with his program has been nothing less than miraculous. We went from going $200 dollars in debt every month to saving $1000 and paying off another $700 in 3 months. We went gang busters at first then we slowed down, but we were still able to pay off $13,000, making less than $40,000 per year, and we did it in 2 1/2 years. We also remodeled my daughters room replaced a transmission and bought a used car in that same time period.
There is nothing more frustrating than working hard only to find out your debt load has increased. What is even more frustrating is watching someone do the same stupid things we were doing, and knowing that they will have to find out for themselves that it doesn't have to be that hard.
One of the reasons that we struggle is because we do not know how to communicate our emotions when it comes to finances and finances are all about controlling emotions. A man wants to be everything to his wife. He wants to feel confident and competent when it comes to running the affairs of his family. He wants to provide the necessities as well as the wants of his family. He does not want to know that he is falling short of his own high expectations. In the case of finances pride and ignorance seem to go hand in hand. Women on the other hand have the desire to feel secure and protected from their dragons. They place a high expectation on their man, because every woman knows that she married superman. She wants to believe that her every wish is at his command. Emotional spending might be blamed on both the man and the woman for these reasons.Most of us grew up being taught how to tie our shoes, how to recognize the alphabet, and how to do math, but we do not learn about finances. Finances were done in the "office." Out of sight of the little people. All we know is mom and dad had money or they didn't have money. We never saw the games they played or the negotiations that they made in order to keep their household running. We have grown up for the most part without really learning the principles that govern money...especially budgeting.
Budgeting is where reality hits. As I said men do not want to know that they are failing and women do not want to feel unsecure. When we budget we have to face the facts. We have to step out of the fairy tale where money grows on trees and as long as we have checks we must still have money.
This is where a man and woman have the opportunity to grow closer together than any other way. When a husband and wife sit down together the woman encouraging her man, showing complete faith in him, beautiful things can happen. When a man sits down with his wife and they can create a workable plan, he will experience a hope like no other. Once you can resolve to dealing with the real emotional issues involved with finances then you are ready to find the tools you need to make it as easy as possible. There are many ideas and many methods that have worked for others, but when it comes to comprehensive budgeting and planning tools I don't know of anyone with a better plan than Dave Ramsey. I highly recommend finding him on your radio or at least visiting his website and buying a couple of books. The principles he teaches are those we have been taught in the gospel all our lives, but we did not understand how to do it. http://www.daveramsey.com/
My own experience with his program has been nothing less than miraculous. We went from going $200 dollars in debt every month to saving $1000 and paying off another $700 in 3 months. We went gang busters at first then we slowed down, but we were still able to pay off $13,000, making less than $40,000 per year, and we did it in 2 1/2 years. We also remodeled my daughters room replaced a transmission and bought a used car in that same time period.
There is nothing more frustrating than working hard only to find out your debt load has increased. What is even more frustrating is watching someone do the same stupid things we were doing, and knowing that they will have to find out for themselves that it doesn't have to be that hard.
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