Recognizing Your Own Shards: A Conversation with the Guardians

 Recognizing Your Own Shards: A Conversation with the Guardians

After reading Chapter 5: The Hollowing, you might be wondering about your own shards—those fragments of false belief that accumulated as your Gatekeeper faithfully executed the commands you gave it in moments of pain and fear. What follows is a conversation between the Seeker and the three Guardians, exploring the messy, non-linear process of actually recognizing these shards. Listen in. See

if you hear your own story.

Simeon: So you've read about the hollowing. About the shards. Now comes the harder question: do you recognize your own?

Seeker: I think so? I mean, when I read the chapter, some things felt... familiar. But I'm not sure I could name them.

Simeon: That's where most people start. A vague sense that something isn't right, but no clear picture of what. Tell me—what beliefs about yourself feel so old, so fundamental, that you can't remember when they started?

Seeker: long pause That I'm running out of time. That I should have figured this out by now. That everyone else has their life together and I'm just... behind.

Lydia: Those aren't facts, you know. Those are stories your Gatekeeper tells you.

Seeker: But they feel like facts. They feel true.

Simeon: Of course they do. They've been running in the background so long they've become part of the architecture. But here's the question: if you've existed before this life and will exist after it, what does that say about "running out of time"?

Seeker: hesitates I guess... it means I have more time than I think?

Simeon: smiles gently You're thinking too small. It means time itself is a tool, not a tyrant. You have exactly as much as you need for what you're meant to accomplish. The urgency you feel? That's not divine truth. That's the Gatekeeper trying to keep you in survival mode.

Seeker: But I am behind. That's not just a feeling—that's reality. I should have started years ago.

Lydia: According to whose timeline? Your Gatekeeper's? The world's? Or God's?

Seeker: I... I don't know.

Lydia: That's the first honest thing you've said. And that's where we start.

Elias: Let me ask you something. When you say "I'm behind," who's speaking? Is that you? Or is that the Gatekeeper?

Seeker: What's the difference?

Elias: There's a gap between you and your protective mechanisms. Most people don't know it exists. They think they are their fear, their doubt, their self-criticism. But you're not. Those are things happening to you, not things that are you.

Seeker: I don't understand.

Elias: Try this. Next time you hear "I can't do this," pause. Don't believe it, don't fight it, just notice it. Notice that there's a you observing the thought. That observer—that's the real you. The thought is just the Gatekeeper.

Seeker: That sounds... impossible.

Elias: It is, until it isn't. It took me months to feel that gap the first time. Then years to maintain it consistently. Integration isn't a destination. It's a practice.

Simeon: You thought this would be simpler, didn't you?

Seeker: laughs bitterly Yeah. I thought I'd read Chapter 5, recognize my shards, and... I don't know, be done with them.

Simeon: That would be nice. But that's not how the hollowing works. You don't move through the Guardians once. You spiral through us over and over, each time at a deeper level.

Lydia: Which brings us back to the question: what are you waiting for?

Seeker: What do you mean?

Lydia: You've identified a shard—"I'm running out of time." You've recognized it's not entirely true. So what are you waiting for? Permission to start anyway?

Seeker: I need to be ready. I need to be certain.

Lydia: sharp but not unkind That's another shard. "I need to be certain before I act." And let me tell you—that one's a killer. Because certainty doesn't come before action. It comes through it.

Seeker: But what if I'm wrong? What if I start and fail?

Lydia: Then you'll learn something. What are you waiting for—perfect conditions? Those don't exist. You're not waiting for certainty. You're waiting for the Gatekeeper's permission. It will never give it.

Seeker: So what do I do?

Lydia: You already know what needs doing. Stop arguing with yourself and start.

Seeker: You make it sound easy.

Simeon: We don't mean to. It's not easy. It's just necessary.

Elias: And it's not linear. I had to learn the same lessons multiple times before they stuck. I'd think I understood something with Simeon, feel empowered, leave his presence—and then the next day I'd be right back in the same pattern.

Seeker: That's... comforting, actually. I thought I was doing it wrong.

Elias: No. You're doing it exactly right. The work is messy. Recognition comes in layers. Some days you can see the gap between you and the Gatekeeper clearly. Other days you're completely merged with it again, lost in its catastrophizing.

Simeon: The smoothness you see in the story—that's the archetypal structure, the ideal form. The reality is slower, more repetitive. You'll have breakthroughs that feel complete, only to discover new depth to the same wound.

Lydia: But you keep showing up anyway. That's what matters.

Seeker: What if I can't? What if I'm too tired?

Elias: Then you show up tired. Determined willingness, not enthusiastic willingness. Round 14 energy—exhausted but still standing.

Simeon: You're paying attention to the wrong question. You're asking "Can I do this?" The real question is: "Am I willing to try anyway?"

Seeker: quietly I think so.

Lydia: Then that's enough. For today, that's enough.

Elias: Before you go, let me leave you with something. The Chambers are real—not as a physical place, but as a path anyone can walk. We're real—not as separate people, but as perspectives you can learn to hold.

Simeon: And your wholeness? That's real too. The light is already within you. You're just removing what obscures it.

Lydia: So here's your homework: Ask yourself these questions.

Simeon: What belief about yourself feels eternal but is actually just old?

Lydia: What truth do you know but aren't applying?

Elias: What voice are you treating as "you" that's actually just a protective mechanism?

Seeker: And then what?

Lydia: Then you start. Today. Now. One small step.

Simeon: And when you stumble—and you will—you come back. You spiral through again. Deeper this time.

Elias: The work doesn't end. But it does get easier to recognize the gap. Easier to choose from your true self instead of from your mechanisms.

Seeker: takes a breath Okay. I'll try.

Lydia: Good. That's all we're asking.

Simeon: For now.

Elias: smiles Welcome to the work.

 

 Author's Note: Expect set backs. Integration is not an easy task as it involves reprogramming the neuro pathways of your brain. Some of us it might happen quickly, but others of us it may take very deliberate and consistent effort. Trauma and grief effect each of us differently. Sometimes when I look back at my life and I see things that I experienced as a child I am almost embarrassed at how it has effected me through my adulthood, but that is my story. I have to own it and change it. Sometimes it is tempting